I hurried to the table in back of the coffee shop as fast as my legs in their four-inch spike heels allowed me without spilling my cinnamon mocha. “Hey, Jenn. Sorry I’m late. Conference call ran over.”
“Hey, girl.” My best friend bit at her lip, leaving an edge of red on her teeth. “You gonna be mad at me if I cancel on you tonight?”


Even though I cringed at the thought of spending Friday night alone – again – I kept my face impassive and looked straight ahead at the dark suits, almost identical to mine, scrambling by outside. “Depends on why you’re canceling. We were going to try the new Asian fusion place.”


Her uncomfortable tone, blanketed by a thick, fluffy Southern drawl, crawled around my ears. “Um. Something came up.”


“Was it a penis?”


“Claire!”


“What? I’m pretty sure I’m right. Right?”


“Well, what happened was…”


Oh God. This was gonna be big. Significant. Big, significant penis. I was already picturing my phallus-free evening: A glass of wine while I sat on my couch and watched reruns of Frasier. Jee-zus. I imagined having sex with Kelsey Grammer’s sitcom alter ego. Even in the heat of passion, he would call my pussy a vulva. I shuddered and pulled myself back to Jennifer’s high-pitched explanation.


“…I’d get to wear my new dress. The red one, remember?”


I remembered. It was a strappy little thing my D cup breasts would laugh at. Plus, Artesian was the place to be seen at and it was right up Jennifer’s alley – tiny portions served on tiny plates by tiny people. Give me a diner burger and a side of crinkle fries any day.


As usual, Jennifer took my silence for acquiescence. “Anyway, it was a last minute thing. Oh, please don’t be mad.”


I wasn’t mad at her for canceling at the last minute. But I was mad at her for believing that asshole wanted to bring her to a work event. His first and possibly second choices had fallen through, and he was trying to save face by bringing someone. I wanted to slap her silly for being so… well, silly. “No, it’s fine.”


“See, he’s been assigned to–”


“I said it was okay, Jenn. Don’t worry about it. I’ll live.” I always did. Just once, I wanted her to choose hanging out with me over a date.


“Thanks, girl. You’re the best.” Apparently, I wasn’t going to be her choice tonight. I looked at my watch and groaned. It was almost time for my appointment with Dr. Lawrence.