The Forgotten Child

Chapter One

Every woman, at one time in her life, will experience the phrase, I had an epiphany. Well that’s exactly what happened this particular spring morning when Emily Nelson’s eyes popped open just as the sliver of light at the break of dawn crept up the horizon and, for a moment, there was peace. Until she blinked a couple of times and reality set in. She glimpsed the lump beside her in their king-size bed—her husband, Bob. Emily pushed back her thick, dark hair and slid to the side of the bed. She was hit by irritating turmoil, an unwelcome friend, twisting up her insides as if wringing out a wet rag. Not even a shred of interest existed for the man she once loved. She’d more empathy for the crotchety old geezer at the end of the street.

So what made this morning different? She didn’t know how to explain this awakening unfolding from deep inside, some place she thought had long since closed and sealed off. Find some courage. Believe enough in herself and then she’d soon be living a life that was hers, for the first time, filled with an amazing peace and hope. And that’s what compelled Emily to shake off her ten-year funk, throw her thin, pale legs over the side of the bed and get up.

Emily, a thirty-five-year-old average looking mother and wife, slipped on the ugly brown bathrobe her husband bought her this past Christmas. The one he meant to give his mother but got confused after he wrapped them since the boxes were identical. His mother got the old lady polyester pants with the elastic waistband meant for Emily, so she supposed she got the better of the deal.

She held her breath when she chanced a glance at Bob who lay softly snoring on his side of the big bed; the fact he was still asleep eased her anxiety. She suppressed a sigh of relief. She had no interest in spending time in a room with this man, any more than the grumpy old geezer up the street. Maybe that was why the knot in her tummy loosened when she left the room and stood outside daughter’s door. Katy, her blonde two-year-old beauty, was sleeping like an angel in the bedroom across the hall in their average, and very plain, box-style rented bungalow. Emily tiptoed across the cheap neutral colored carpeting, the same quality you see in most rental homes which showed every stain imaginable, even after shampooing year after year. She pressed her hand on the doorframe and pulled Katy’s door closed so she wouldn’t hear Emily at this early hour. Five a.m. was her time, when her head was clear, when her creative juices flowed, when she faced reality and could make the tough decisions with absolute clarity.

Today’s the day, when he comes down, I’ll say it. Her gut twisted, and she knew now it was nothing more than fear of the unknown. She couldn’t wait anymore; it had to be today. It was past time and she knew she’d ignored this decision for too long. The signs were all around her—they had been for months. Now, with no chance to think it to death or get cold feet, the floor squeaked as his heavy footsteps traipsed down the hall toward her. Her skin chilled and she had a buzzing sensation in her ears, as if the floor was about to drop out from beneath her feet. Bob, her husband of twelve years, shuffled into the kitchen past her as she leaned against the counter. What made it worse was the way he looked away, as if to dismiss her, a woman of no importance.

“It’s over between us.” Wow, she said it. Her courage wavered but she crossed her arms over her small breasts and stood her ground, feeling enormous in the bulky robe even though she kept her body slim with womanly curves.

Bob turned and, for the first time in months, he really looked at her. His dirty blonde hair was gelled and impeccably groomed. His pale face flushed and his icy blue eyes appeared so dull and tiny in his round face. His body was ordinary, average height and build—a man who wouldn’t stand out in a crowd. She felt nothing for him, just a hardness; whatever love had been was now long dead and gone.
Time stretched out painfully; it took an eternity to pump the blood through her body, roaring louder and louder in her ears between breaths. He turned away. He poured himself a cup of the coffee she’d freshly brewed, dismissing her again. He’d mastered that skill long ago, hammering her pride down a little further each and every day. No wonder it took an act of sheer courage for Emily to look strangers in the eye. Hadn’t her dad done it to her own mom?

“You know we haven’t had a marriage for a long time. There are no feelings left between us. We don’t communicate and Katy’s picking up on the tension in this house.”

He dropped his mug on the counter and fired off his own delusion. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think you’re the one with the problem. Katy’s fine if you’re not around.” His words stung, even though she knew it wasn’t true. Why didn’t she expect this? Because her mind didn’t play those kinds of games, that’s why.
“No Katy is not fine. You’re always yelling at her. You won’t spend time with her. When you’re home, you sit in front of the TV twenty-four/seven. You do nothing to help me.”

Shouting, he stepped toward her, “You know what I think this is really about? Money! Anyway, it’s your fault we have no money!”
Okay here we go. She expected an attack. He was really good at twisting things to his way of thinking. This man she married, at one time loved, had become an unwelcome stranger. “I think it has to do with no communication. The only time I know what’s new with you is when I overhear you on the phone. You know … those nightly conversations with your mother. And come to think of it, that’s part of the problem. The only relationship you have is with your mother. And it’s just plain weird. You’re not a child. Grow up. It’s disturbing that you talk to her about what’s going on in your life and not me. If you were being honest with yourself, you’d admit you’ve made no attempt to have a relationship with me. And I’ve ignored how you’ve treated me for years.”

Emily held up the flat of her trembling hand, unable to stop her mouth from spewing everything she’d suppressed for so long. She continued, “You’ve always had this strange relationship with your Mom. What’s really sick is I’ve had to stoop to eavesdropping when you’re on the phone with her. Just to find out your latest news. A vacation you’re planning with friends of yours. A new job you’re applying for in Seattle; taking a few courses at night school. Don’t you think as your wife I have a right to know about these things?”
He dumped his coffee down the sink. His face hardened into someone she didn’t know. “It wasn’t as if I was hiding it from you, but you’re sure happy to launch a war with my family. You could’ve have just asked.”

Emily shut her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. Katy would be awake soon and Bob needed to leave for work. “This is going nowhere. I’m not going to keep fighting with you. I’d like you to move out. Take whatever you want.”

He didn’t answer her. What he did was grab his coat and storm out the door, slamming it behind him hard enough to rattle the double pane windows. But apparently, he wasn’t done with his temper tantrum because he followed up with gunning the engine of two-door rusted Cavalier, the tires squealing down the driveway. Katy screamed. Across the street, lights came on in the front window of the Hanson’s, house. Great. She’d need to apologize for Bob disturbing them before six a.m. with his irresponsible behavior.

Emily raced down the hall to comfort her daughter, furious at Bob for yet another mess he’d created for her to clean up. Except this time, it didn’t stick—the mad, that is. She felt the dark, oppressive weight lifting from her back, leaving her with a light peaceful feeling flowing through her body. You know, the one you get when you know you’ve finally done the right thing. Even though she had no money, no job, a child and no idea how she’d make ends meet. A dismal sounding outcome but, for the first time in years, she felt the sun shoot out a powerful ray of hope.

Chapter Two

The morning hadn’t gone as planned. Emily’s faced glowed as she reached down to pick up the morning paper. It hadn’t quite made it to the curb forcing her to step out into the street close to where the Hansons were out digging up their yard. She’d apologized yesterday, and even though they’d been gracious in their response, Emily still felt responsible for Bob’s childish behavior. And it was Mr. Hanson, not Mrs. Hanson who questioned Emily on what had upset Bob. This left Emily cornered; so she’d confessed she’d asked Bob to leave. This left them frowning, and speechless, which wasn’t a good thing.

“Hello,” was all she could say this morning before darting back into the house. She didn’t make eye contact because she didn’t want to explain more. Mr. Hanson could talk her ear off, and by now, he’d most likely have a few words of advice to share with her.

Emily leaned against the closed door. Worry and, in her chest, a nightmarish pressure began building and pressing, stronger and harder, until the simple art of breathing became a gigantic struggle. It was her head, her mind, creating the problems. She’d fall flat on her face. She couldn’t make it alone. How would she look after Katy? What if she couldn’t get a job? Instead of focusing on the present, her thoughts jumped from the past to the future with what ifs, could haves and should haves. “Stop it!” She kicked a pink, fluffy stuffed animal across the room and stubbed her little toe on the corner of the table. “Ah crap.” She hopped on one foot exhaling sharply. After a minute she hobbled to the kitchen counter.

She should have started looking for a job yesterday after she’d asked Bob to leave. But she didn’t because of a whole pile of excuses. Katy had been cranky all day after waking up so early after Bob’s tantrum. Then she had to feed, bathe and put Katy to bed, all before Bob, still moody, dragged his sorry ass through the door, telling her he’d found a furnished apartment in Olympia during his lunch hour. He’d move out on the weekend. She almost shouted, “Hallelujah!”

But now this morning, she felt the after effects of an adrenaline rush, maybe that’s why she was in such a crappy mood. She muttered a curse as she opened the damp newspaper to the classified section. It was sparse today, the feed store, the market. The one that stood out was the one in bold at the bottom of the page:

Wanted: Caregiver and Cook
Duties include day-to-day care of a young child.

“I can do that.” She slapped the paper and glanced up at Katy who was watching Dora on TV as she snuggled with her blanket on the sofa.
Emily reached behind her and snatched up the cordless telephone. She paused, pressing the top of the telephone to her forehead when a sinking fear she’d fail tried to weave its way into her, zapping away all her newfound courage. “Knock it off, just call.” Emily ran her finger over the ad and dialed the number. Her heart pounded so hard it hurt her chest. Her hand shook as her adrenaline soared through her veins. To release the rapidly building tension and calm her nerves, she paced through the kitchen and living room.

“Hello.” An older woman’s voice chimed on the other end.

“Hi I’m calling about the ad in the paper for a caregiver and cook.”

“Oh yes, that would be Brad you’d want to talk to. Just hang on a second and let me get him.” Unfortunately the wait for Brad to come on the line allowed the irritable voice in Emily’s head to creep in and fill her with doubts. What do you think you’re doing? You’re not qualified. Sweating, she was tempted to hang up when she heard the man’s deep baritone voice.

“Hello.”

Along with being tongue tied, Emily's dry throat threatened to close up. She swallowed the hard lump and licked her lips. “Hi, my name’s Emily Nelson, I’m calling about your ad in the paper as a caregiver and cook for a child.” She winced when her voice squeaked.

“It’s for my son Trevor, he’s three. I run a ranch and need someone to look after him and also do the cooking.”

“Are you still interviewing for the position?”

“I am but I need someone right away. I have a ranch to run. If you’re interested, could you come out to the Ranch?”

He was abrupt. Straight to the point and that made it easier for Emily.

“I’m interested, but I should tell you I have a two year old who’ll be with me at work. He said nothing. In that nanosecond, Emily felt the impending rejection. And that awful voice chimed in, No, I don’t think it’ll work. I need someone without kids.

“Could you be here at nine tomorrow morning?” This she didn’t expect.
“Nine, no problem I’ll be there.” She committed to a time she knew darn well wouldn’t work. Katy had a checkup scheduled with her pediatrician tomorrow at nine. How was she going to do both? How stupid and desperate was that? Say something. But she didn’t. She swallowed and continued scribbling down the address, along with rough directions to the ranch, on the back of her overdue hydro bill. It was not far from town, maybe a twenty-minute drive.

Emily held the disconnected phone, and then tapped her head with it again. “Stupid, you forgot to ask what he’s paying, the hours, come on, Emily.” She dropped the phone back in its charger, realizing he too hadn’t asked many questions. What about her qualifications, experience and references?

Emily dug out a pen and paper and started a list. She needed to be prepared for tomorrow, so she scribbled down a list of questions. Most importantly, she needed to someone to take Katy to the doctor.

* * * *

Early the next morning, she opened the front door to her bubbly friend Gina, a vivacious, trim woman with short dark hair. Under her wool cape, she wore a turtleneck and blue jeans. She burst through the door and hugged Emily hard. “Morning, darling. I hope you have some coffee. I only had time for a quick cup before bolting over here.”

“What about Fred and your boys? Aren’t they going to miss you this morning?”

She waved her hand as she wiped her shoes and wandered into the small box style kitchen. “You should have seen the lost look on their faces this morning. It was priceless, my husband and two teenage boys, horrified that I actually expected them to fend for themselves this morning. Hey there cutie pie.”

Katy practically leapt into Gina’s arms. Gina knew how to get down on the floor and play hard with kids on their level. “Thank you, Gina, for coming. I’m nervous enough as it is about this interview without dragging a two year old with me and I forgot about her appointment with the pediatrician. It took me months to get it and I didn’t want to reschedule with this guy...” She was rambling and she knew it, so she shut her mouth.

“Don’t be nervous, you’ll do just fine. And you need to give yourself some credit. You’ve a lot of courage. I’ve watched you from the sidelines these past few years as you’ve spiraled into a downward slide. I’m amazed, and a little awed, by what you’ve done. It’s as if you’ve taken a leap off the dock without a life jacket. You have this pure faith now—everything will work out. Now hold onto that and move forward. Don’t look back.” Gina glanced down at her small gold Rolex, a gift from her husband for their anniversary last month. You better go. You have enough time to get your head together and enjoy the drive. Remember don’t rush … that’s when you get flustered.”

Emily hugged and kissed both her daughter and friend, pulled on her brown wool coat and grabbed her purse and handwritten resume. Gina was right; having extra time to find where she needed to go relieved a lot of her anxiety, as did being alone. She took a deep breath and pulled out of her driveway.

Thick trees lined both sides of the road out of town. This was a peaceful drive. She realized she’d never driven west of town in the ten years she’d lived in Hoquiam. She’d grown up in Seattle and that was where she’d met Bob. Hoquiam seemed like a nice place to live after he was offered a government job in Olympia ten years earlier. The commute was not too long, and Emily’s dream of living in a small community had never left her. Now as she drove these narrow winding roads, passing only a few cars through this private, rural and heavily forested part of the peninsula, she was reminded of her childhood dream.

Emily balanced the hastily scribbled directions on the steering wheel. She passed the faded red barn at the second marker on the highway. Making a right turn onto a gravel road, she continued down until she saw the split rail fencing with 665 in bright green numbers embedded in the wood. A huge fir archway on two solid beams surrounded the entrance to the dirt driveway, with the name Echo Springs carved into the weathered wood. What was it about the name that stirred some nostalgic memory of longing in her tummy? History, established families, of Mom, Dad, grandparents passing down their heritage and land. She’d heard the powerful family names whispered in the community: the Rickson’s, Folley’s, who were the others? She was caught now by a nervous flutter continuing to pound her solar plexus as she drove down the long dirt driveway. Old growth spruce, cedar and fir trees on both sides created a dense canopy overhead and a mixture of other bushes and trees gave the appearance of walls. At the end, it opened up into a large clearing exposing a two-story white frame house with a wraparound veranda and large post beams. It resembled an old rambling Victorian. She parked in front of the house beside an old Ford Escort, a dirty blue pick-up truck that had seen better days, a chipped yellow digger, a fairly new black GMC one ton pickup and a flatbed trailer loaded with some mysterious goods covered with a tarp. How many people live here?

The wind created a chilly breeze as thick clouds cluttered the baby blue sky. Emily was far from cold when she climbed out of her van. Her underarms were damp and she prayed her deodorant was strong enough to keep her from smelling ripe. It’s nerves, that’s all. Or maybe it was the five cups of high-octane coffee she’d guzzled before Gina arrived, which wound her nerves so tight she could have bounced her way to the door.

She paused and breathed deep in the clean air. The front of the house was virtually bare of any landscaping. Patches of grass poked up here and there from the well-packed dirt in the front yard. The flowerbeds in front were littered with dead perennials, weeds and overgrown grass long and bare leaning against the house. How many acres did he have? A large barn and other outbuildings littered the property with what looked like miles of open land with a spectacular view of the mountains.

She flexed her damp hands and climbed the four white wooden steps. She noticed the paint was chipped. Emily nearly tripped when the third step suddenly creaked and caught her off guard. She was way out of her comfort zone and this didn’t help, prompting her self-doubt to send SOS signals to confuse her already shaky insides. She was a mess. Her face ached so much, she was positive the forced smile she wore looked more like a grimace. Emily clutched a brown manila envelope stuffed with her resume and references from her friends. On unsteady legs, she crossed the wide porch. A porch made for families to gather at the end of the day to laugh together and share dreams and triumphs. Something families did. Well back to reality, it was a dream family Emily yearned to be part of. She spied a wooden swing suspended by chains at the far end of the porch beside two wicker chairs placed on each side of a large picture window and she sighed.

She could daydream about this imaginary family abode all day but when she faced the classic wooden frame door, Emily’s dry throat threatened to close up. “Well it’s now or never.” So she did it. She rapped on the door with a couple of confident solid knocks. Her heart pounded, echoing with a thud in her ears when she heard solid, heavy footsteps approach. She swallowed and felt a notorious bright scarlet flush flame her face.

She wanted to hide in that anxiety panicked second but it was too late when the door flew open. She stepped back clutching her purse to her chest like a shield and fidgeted with her old wool coat, pulling it tight around her. A tall, broad shouldered man filled the doorway. She was struck speechless by this man with hazy brown eyes. He didn’t have pretty boy features. What he had was a solid, strong jaw, a hardness to his square face and eyes alive with some ancient wisdom, making him the most handsome man she’d ever seen. His flannel plaid shirt didn’t cover any average man. This was a well-formed man who she’d swear could make a burlap sack look good. He pulled off a pair of reading glasses and gazed at her, looking confused, as if she were a door-to-door sales girl, obviously wondering why she was on his doorstep. She hated that feeling.

“Hi, I’m…” Then the worst thing that could possibly happen, happened. She fumbled her purse upside down. It tipped open scattering the contents of her bag as well as coins from the unzipped coin purse inside all over the doorway floor, along with what remained of her dignity.