The Curse of Wadj Wer

"What do you think this is?" Julian held up a heavy looking statue carved from what appeared to be one large block of wood. "Some sort of ancient fertility statue?"

I shrugged. "It’s supposed to be a statue of Wadj Wer or something. That’s what the dude who sold it to her said. Penny is always picked up weird shit like that. I told her we don't really need any more decorations around here, but she doesn't listen."

"I like it. It's...different."

"It's creepy."

I couldn't look at it for too long without a frissure of unease moving down my spine. It was beautifully carved and finely detailed, and that's probably why I found it so disturbing. From the bottom down, the statue sported a very impressive erection. It wasn't crudely carved, either. Somebody had taken their time in perfecting this cock, coaxing it from the wood like Italian masters coaxed goddesses from marble. There were even veins along the shaft and the hint of hair dusting the prominent balls. The same care was shown to the area above the waist, including the unmistakably feminine curve of the torso and ludicrously full breasts, a nipple flowering over the tip of each globe. The head, on the other hand, was made of shallow etches and shadows, giving the impression of a face. Just enough of an impression to be unbelievably...well, creepy.

"I don't know if it's a statue or somebody's wanking material."

"So, it's pretty much perfect for Penny."

I nodded, conceding the truth of that. Penny's been my roommate since college, though we aren't really friends. Married people describe their stale relationships as just "really good roommates" and that was me and Penny. We weren't friends, we didn't share any of the same interests, and we barely knew each other's social circle. We rotated through men and jobs and fashion, revolving around each other in a weird dance neither of us ever acknowledged. And one of our biggest differences was what we did in our free time. I liked to read, write, and work towards my goal of watching every movie ever made. Penny, on the other hand, was really active in what she called the Scene. She basically thought about sex constantly, every day, all day, and managed to incorporate that into every aspect of her life.

Sometimes, as her roommate, I found that mildly inconvenient. But she always threw the best parties, and nothing was better than her annual Halloween bash. I avoided the part of her life for the rest of the year, but on Halloween I always indulged my curiosity. Usually by midnight, I'm convinced she's entirely right and I should refocus my life. I should hang out with her friends, go to her parties, and just pretend every day was Halloween. Of course, by the next morning, I realize that was just the booze talking and I quite like my life--and my sex life--comfortably settled in vanilla territory.

"I just wish she'd keep it in her bedroom. Or the closet. Or her office. Why not take it to work? It wouldn't even be the strangest thing on her desk."

Julian laughed sympathetically. "Well, I'm sorry, dear. I've known Penny a long time, and she's not going to give up on a find like this."

"No, I know. I've already conceded this fight." I took it from his hands and held it up to the light, looking for any further markings or sign of the artist. But there was no signature or date. So maybe it was a relic, like Julian first thought. But I'd watched my fair share of National Geographic documentaries, and I had to say, I'd never seen anything like this. Surely if ancient civilizations were carving things with this much care and detail, that would be worth a special or two? "Anyway, did you want a drink? I was just going to fight my way into the kitchen."

"Oh no, you don't want to go in there." Julian took my arm and pulled me towards the guest room. The room where I'd locked up several of my valuables--literally under lock and key--and told everybody was strictly off limits. There were already three small groups claiming what free space they could in the small room. I recognized a few of them, but I didn't look too long. They clearly thought they were in a private space, and even though it was my home, I didn't feel comfortable gawking at them like a pervert. Penny told me enough times I could look all I wanted. Nobody would notice or care. I still felt like a pervert.

Julian gestured at me to be quiet and follow him as he gingerly stepped over the kissing, groping, giggling bodies. I guessed they were probably rolling, another activity Penny had tried to entice me into once or twice. I wasn't sure about taking drugs, but I had to admit, it did look like they were all having a really great time. They were completely wanton and beautiful in their shamelessness, having fun with each other like it was a big game. Well, for them, it was a big game. They called it play for a reason. And that's what Halloween was. My time to play.