The 12 Hot Days of Christmas

Table of Contents
Introduction
A Patrtridge in a Pear Tree by Dahlia Schweitzer
Two Turtledoves by Lisa Lane
Three French Hens by Cameo Brown
Four Calling Birds by Isabel Roman
Five Golden Rings by Brandi Woodlawn
Six Geese a’ Laying by Katy Sirls
Seven Swans a’ Swimming by Cecilia Tan
Eight Maids a’ Milking by Jesse Blair Kensington
Nine Ladies Dancing by Rhonda Leigh Jones
Ten Lords a’ Leaping by Debra Hyde
Eleven Pipers Piping by Heidi Champa
Twelve Drummers Drumming by C. Margery Kempe


Introduction

The Christmas season is a joyful but often stressful time of the year. So much preparation: cooking, cleaning, shopping, wrapping, and, for some, traveling. There’s so much to do and never enough time.
And never any time for you.
That’s where this book comes in—it’s just for you. It’s your own little collection of holiday cheer.
In these pages you’ll find twelve delightful—and ribald—tales of creative license based on the classic Christmas song you’ve been singing since childhood. But the Twelve Days of Christmas will never be the same after you’ve read the stories in these pages—and we’re all thankful for that.
We hope you enjoy Dahlia Schweitzer’s patridge “hunt,” and Brandi Woodlawn’s imaginative take on those golden rings, and Cecilia Tan’s interpretation of the seven swans.
And we hope this collection inspires you to create your own erotic version of these lyrics. If they’re delightful enough, type them up and send them in to us for next year’s Christmas cheer!
Lori Perkins
December 2009