Sundae Surprise

Dean stood, hastily grabbing the blanket and wrapping it around his waist. Well, almost around. Stupid blanket must've been made for a kid. "Don't make fun of me, asshole."

"I'm not making fun of you. Seriously, we could fool around if you want."

"Oh yeah, straight guy? And what about your girlfriend?" Dean recovered the cantaloupe and headed to the kitchen. He flipped up the lid on the garbage can and dumped the fruit in with a frown. Damned thing hadn't been cheap, either.

"Carolyn and I broke up, and I'm bi, dude, not straight," Rick clarified, following him.

Dean's eyes widened in shock and he turned to stare at Rick. "What?"

"I said-"

"I heard what you said. Why didn't you say it before?"

Rick shrugged. "I thought you knew and weren't interested."

"Are you kidding? Not interested? Dude, look at the guy in that DVD." Dean flounced back into the living room and pointed to the still playing movie. "Who does he look like?" They hadn't watched it together or anything, but Rick had borrowed it at least once. Dean fumbled to pull the remote control out of the little holder on the coffee table, dropping it back in several dozen times before he finally achieved his goal. He meant to shut the DVD off, but accidentally hit pause instead, freezing the movie on a frame of Porn Rick licking Porn Guy B's balls.

"Huh." Rick squinted and moved closer to the television. "You know, he kinda looks like me."

"Kinda? He looks a lot like you. You really never knew? I flirt with you all the time!" Dean again attempted to stop the movie, this time succeeding. He hit the eject button and groped with a shaking hand for the DVD, managing somehow not to drop it as he put it back into its case.

Rick made a dismissive sound. "You flirt with everyone, including my mother. You're gay. Gay men flirt. It's what you do."

"Well . . . yeah . . . but . . ." Dean pursed his lips. He had absolutely no argument for that logic. Rick reached out for the DVD and a short-lived tug of war ensued, until Dean gave up and handed it over with a sigh.

Rick turned the DVD case over and over, eyes narrowed and head cocked to the side, reminding Dean of a bird about to swoop down on a mouse. "Hold on, you knew I borrowed this. How did you not realize I was bi?"

Dean shrugged. "I thought you borrowed it for Carolyn. Chicks really like guy on guy."

"And where did you hear that, Professor Porno?"

"It's a fact, man. You know all those gay romance books I have? Women wrote all but like, two of them."

"What would women know about gay sex?"

Dean stood up straighter and puffed out his chest, feeling oddly annoyed for all those hard working writers. "They know a lot. I'll show you their websites if you want."

"Maybe later. Are you into this? You and me?" Rick tossed the DVD onto the coffee table and folded his arms across his chest, apparently having decided that no more discussion