Sinfully Scandalous

Prologue
In the beginning, Big J created the Earth and all that surrounded it. He did it mostly on a dare from the angels on his staff, those who openly doubted his self-proclaimed Almighty status and demanded evidence that he was, indeed, the head honcho. Back in the day, ethereal beings had short attention spans. It was one of the side effects to sitting around a heavenly dimension with nothing to do for fun. Big J talked a good game, but his subjects needed a demonstration, and therefore he provided. Thus, man emerged from dust. A creature of perceived flawlessness, created in Big J’s image, but without all the fancy superpowers.
For a while, there resided a garden where the first man and second woman—as the man had demanded a refund for the first woman—interacted with blissful ignorance to the turning world around them. Big J became boastful about his design, stating at last he had created a class of being that would grant him the respect and worship he deserved. After a few hours listening to Big J boast, his closest confidant, Lucifer, claimed no creature could be created without the spirit of rebellion, and that the human race would prove just as much a disappointment as the angels, if not more so. Big J, intrigued, asked Lucifer to assume the shape of a serpent and put his money where his mouth was. The male human, completely befuddled by the oddity of a talking snake, convinced the female to forgo her skepticism. Together, they proved Lucifer’s point and failed Big J’s test. As punishment, the man and woman were banished from the Garden, but remained on good terms with Lucifer after he explained it was merely a social experiment and nothing personal.
Big J kept Lucifer close after that. It would have been easy to throw his hands up in surrender, but a prideful deity, Big J decided it would be a waste to undo his master creation. Instead, he and Lucifer decided to make wagers on who was the better salesman. Lucifer would tempt and Big J would threaten, and one by one, the descendants of the first man and second woman began falling prey to Lucifer’s antics. When Big J asked Lucifer how it was accomplished, Lucifer merely replied that being bad was more fun, and fun trumped feeling bullied any day of the week. Big J felt that was reasonable, but soon humans began dying off. With nowhere else to go, their souls flocked toward Paradise, and the streets of Heaven overfilled. Since some of the souls were truly nasty sons of bitches, Big J became more and more reluctant to house them all on his lawn. He then approached Lucifer with another request.
Those who fell victim to Lucifer’s schemes did not deserve having their pillows fluffed. It made little sense allowing bad people into a previously good neighborhood. Big J wanted a do-over. Lucifer, as the most cunning angel, had earned a place in Big J’s design. After receiving a hefty promotion from angel to deity—complete with a permanent new set of shiny powers—he would guard over those he tempted into falling from grace in a world befitting the worst sort of sinner. In the meantime, Big J and Lucifer’s low-stakes wager over the souls of man would become more than just a weekly gamble. Lucifer liked the idea, and therefore took four of Big J’s best architects to create a world so horrible the very mention made man tremble. Sometime during this period, Lucifer decided to form a safe house for a large portion of his power in the event something went awry and he needed it. He chose the number seven, marking the fabled seven days it had taken Big J to create the world. Thus seven children were born—born and kept isolated, nameless, and completely unaware of the world around them. Lucifer also established a ritzy neighborhood full of creature comforts: a spa, several high-end shopping areas, a food court, world-class dining, a symphony, a theatre, and miles of mansions that multiplied every time a new demon was born of ash. After all, Lucifer’s pet creations needed a place to live, and unlike the humans, they weren’t being punished.
Big J commemorated Hell’s grand opening by unleashing a flood on his human creation, who by this point had turned out to be mostly wicked. Within no time, the streets of Hell overflowed with the scum of Earth, and Big J’s latest project was up and running.
So it continued for centuries. Big J and Lucifer went about making deals, trading bets, pitting their best upon assorted targets and meeting up for drinks somewhere on their playing field to laugh and boast about what the other might concoct next.
However, there was an unexpected side effect in ruling Hell. Lucifer went out into the world to work his magic, but returned home to a place where the cries of the damned were far too loud to ignore for eternity. By Big J’s orders, the place of everlasting punishment did more than live up to its reputation. Lucifer might have been apathetic at first, believing—as did Big J—humans had one chance to make their choice, fall in line, or accept the consequences. If they chose to shun that which had been given to them during their mortal lives, they didn’t deserve a second chance.
But the screams didn’t stop. Souls didn’t acclimate to eternal torture. If anything, the wails of the oldest were the most deafening, and likewise the hardest to bear. Lucifer ignored them as long as he could. He turned a blind eye to those who approached him, grabbed at his feet, and begged for mercy. When he approached Big J about the problem, the deity suggested moving all souls to a Lake of Fire where they could not touch him. Lucifer followed this advice, but it didn’t help matters any. Ultimately, the only escape for the Ruler of Hell was to close the shades from his cozy palace in Hells Bells and pretend he was anywhere but where he was.
It wasn’t until a crazy little thing called Christianity began spreading like wildfire that Lucifer put his foot down. For the first time, he approached Big J and asked about possibly moving some of the older souls from Hell to a place for rehabilitation. Big J promptly declined the suggestion, but the argument refused to die. With the birth of Christianity came the papacy, the Nicene Councils, the Trinity—which Lucifer never understood—and the Cardinal Sins. Upon hearing some holy humans felt some sins were worse than others, Lucifer felt inspired and revved in ways he hadn’t in years. Based on the decree of man, he took the concept he had pocketed so long ago, the faceless children who had existed without living, and created physical Sins to take his place in the world, along with names to represent their status. He reasoned it was a way to keep the natural order balanced—Big J’s angels were still on the prowl for righteousness, and while he had no desire to get his hands dirty, Lucifer knew he needed to keep himself in the game if he wanted to keep Big J on his toes.
Therefore, the Sins were born. The Seven Deadly Sins, given flesh, fire and assignments to keep them busy for eternity.
He made Superbia first, the Sin of Pride.
Next came Ira, the Sin of Wrath.
Luxuria was the third, the Sin of Lust.
Gula came next, the Sin of Gluttony.
Acedia was the fifth, the Sin of Sloth.
Next came Avaritia, the Sin of Greed.
Last was Invidia, the Sin of Envy.
While Lucifer never claimed any children, he did love the Sins as his own. With them at his side, he roamed the world of his own accord, not worrying about appearing in person unless the situation demanded it. Whereas other demons from the pit might find themselves shunned from blessed ground, the Sins, regardless of having been born in the ashes of Hell, could go anywhere they desired. They were the brainchild of humanity, and that gave them power none other enjoyed. It made them a hot commodity, and a well-guarded secret, protected especially from reaching anyone with one foot in Paradise. No one outside Hell’s Gates knew the Sins had bodies of their own. And while the Sins were widely envied among their peers for their closeness with Lucifer, no one came close to matching their power.
After the Sins’ creation, Lucifer again approached Big J about rehabilitating the older souls, or at least offering them a chance to destroy themselves to avoid further suffering. Again, Big J declined. This led to a terrible falling out. Lucifer cut himself off completely from his once-friend, and determined he would make Hell as horrible a place as possible so the cries of his prisoners wouldn’t remain deaf on Big J’s ears forever. Lucifer likewise completely ceased going out in the world on his own to tempt humanity into depravity, feeling he had done enough damage.
Generations rolled on. Eras flew by. Big J and Lucifer did not communicate for centuries. Then one of the Sins, Avaritia, resigned her post. Big J managed to garner Lucifer’s attention and arrange a meeting.
The world became interesting again.