Jimmy's Lawn Service

He knocked on Lou Brunswick’s door at nine o’clock. The door swung open, but nobody was there. Puzzled, he stepped tentatively into the foyer. The door shut behind him. He turned around to behold Lou standing there wearing only a policeman’s cap, high heels, and a smile. She was holding a gun on him with one hand and dangling handcuffs with the other.

Jimmy’s mouth dropped.

“All right, you,” she said in a harsh Brooklyn accent, “hands in the air! Now!”

Jimmy obeyed immediately. His fascination overcame his surprise as he realized the gun was just a water pistol. Moreover, Lou Brunswick naked in high heels was a sight to behold.

“Turn around! Hands against the door.”

Jimmy turned around and did as she said.

“Spread ‘em!” she ordered, kicking his legs apart. She pushed the pistol in his back and gave him a surprisingly expert pat-down with her free hand. After searching for concealed weapons, she reached between his legs to grope his crotch gently, but very thoroughly.

“Well,” she said, “I see that you are armed. Put your hands behind your back.” She pulled one arm down and clicked a cuff on it, then did the same with the other arm.

“Now, march upstairs.” Lou prodded him with the gun.

“What did I do?” Jimmy protested.

“Shut up and move,” she snarled.

Lou pushed him into the bedroom and unlocked one handcuff.

“Lie down on the bed. Put the cuff around the top bar and lock it back on your wrist. No funny stuff.

Jimmy did as he was told, putting the loose handcuff around a vertical bar in the wrought iron headboard and locking the cuff.

“I’ve got you on a concealed weapons charge,” Lou said, dropping the pistol on the bed and picking up the key. She put the key chain around her neck, then unbuckled Jimmy’s belt to pull his pants and under shorts off. She straddled him and gently fondled him until he was hard.

“See? I knew it. There it is. Pretty large caliber, too, I’m going to have to disarm you.”

Lou took off her hat and bent over to dangle her breasts in Jimmy’s face. Then she lay down on top of him, gave him a long wet kiss, and wiggled her hips down to capture him.

She said softly. “Now that I’ve made it hard for you, are you going to hold it against me?”