Himiko: Bonding

Matt held on tightly to the warm body in his arms. He had a feeling of completeness, of being whole for the first time in his life. Looking at the Himiko filled him with a happiness that he had never experienced before, and it was a heady feeling. It was the feeling of being totally content. He'd always thought that pure happiness was a fairytale made up by drunks and junkies, but this was very real.

His mate began to stir. Pietr's eyes opened and the Himiko looked at Matt, blinking. The gray eyes stared at him as he held his lover's head gently between his hands, caressing Pietr's cheek. Suddenly, the Himiko began to panic.

"No, no, no, you're okay, I've got you." Matt's words didn't help; quite the contrary. There was a deep anguish in Pietr's gray eyes. It tore Matt apart to see his mate in this kind of pain, and he leaned in and kissed Pietr gently, easing his mate with his lips and willing the Himiko's pain to go away.

Pietr stilled and looked at him with big, wondering eyes. Matt poured compassion and calm into the kiss, and suddenly Pietr kissed him back. Matt could have cried from the joy of it, from the feeling of his mate's body against his and the eager response to his kisses.

How long they spent kissing and just breathing together, he didn't know. He was brought back into the real world when he heard Robbie's polite cough in the background. He reluctantly turned his head to look at the Himiko while putting his arm protectively around Pietr.

Robbie had his arms crossed and didn't look pleased at all.

"Am I too loud again?" Matt asked, exasperated.

Robbie looked at him incredulously. "You might say so," the Himiko said with a raised eyebrow. "Especially considering the people we've had to carry out of here unconscious because you were lashing out mentally at everyone who got too close to you. And then there's the slight detail that you've bonded with a Himiko."

"He's mine." There was no doubt about that. By his side, Pietr gave an affirmative noise.

"I'm afraid you're right." Next to him, Pietr started to get up. Matt quickly turned to calm his mate down. "Shh, you've been unconscious. You should rest."

"I'm fine." It was the first time Matt had heard the voice of his beautiful Himiko, and it filled him with joy. "You should rest, yourself -- you spent all of your energy only yesterday."

Matt gave Pietr a hard kiss and had almost forgotten about Robbie when he cleared his throat loudly.

Reluctantly, Matt tore himself away from the kiss. "What?" he asked impatiently.

"If the two of you could keep off the caring competition for more than three seconds at a time, we could discuss this."

Matt and Pietr both raised their heads and growled almost in unison, then looked at each other, surprised. Matt blushed a bit and sat up, leaning against the wall and keeping Pietr close by his side.

"Okay, what's wrong?"

Robbie took a seat on the chair next to the bed. Suddenly, he seemed very tired.

"What's wrong is the fact that this shouldn't have happened." This time, it was Pietr who leaned aggressively forward. Matt gently stroked his lover's face to calm him down.

"It will be enough for now," Pietr said. "He's my mate."

"What?" Matt looked from one to the other uncomprehendingly.

"It'll be like this, you know." Robbie ignored him, talking to Pietr. "This is all you'll get until he has his operation."

"Hey!" Matt started to get angry. "Could you please tell me what you're talking about?"

Robbie looked at him with a cold expression. "We're talking about the fact that Pietr won't get any real feedback from you until you've had your operation -- and maybe not even then, if you don't succeed in learning to use your abilities. You can't respond to anything he thinks to you, to how he feels. And what your mate won't tell you because he's stupidly in love with you is the fact that it might be critical to him."

Matt turned his attention back to Pietr, who avoided his eyes. He suddenly felt cold.

"I don't understand."

Robbie gestured angrily. "I tried to explain it to you earlier on. The 'mind reading,' as you call it, it's not only a means of communication. It's the key aspect of our interaction. If you prevent us from doing it... Well, we can't live like that." Robbie got up and started to pace.

"Some of us manage better than others; you already saw the guards at the Scanning Hall wearing shields. They can do it for long periods of time -- but most of them haven't bonded yet. And even the strongest of us need to connect with others regularly to stay sane." He looked apologetically at Matt. "When you've bonded, your connection to your mate is your primary source of contact -- and if it fails, it can be... damaging to the Himiko."

Matt stared at Robbie. He didn't want to know what that meant. "So if I fail to learn how to communicate, Pietr will be hurt?"

Robbie nodded. "Or worse," he added.