Golden Boy

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An Excerpt From: GOLDEN BOY

Copyright © CLAIRE THOMPSON, 2006.

All Rights Reserved, Ellora's Cave Publishing,
Inc.

"So tell me, when did you first figure out you were
gay?"

Johnny coughed a little into his port and said, "Excuse
me?"

Eric laughed. "Hey, it's what I do. I'm a psychologist--I
have a sense about these things. It's pretty clear, even if I wasn't
trained to pick up signals, you're struggling with something new, and that
something is your sexual orientation. Am I right?"

Johnny looked away, but then back at Eric. Slowly he
nodded. "You are right. I'm...I'm gay."

"That's still a hard thing for you to say, to admit
aloud." Eric's voice was gentle.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is. I've been thinking it for a
while now, though. First it totally freaked me out, you know? The Wilsons
are not homos." He grinned apologetically.

"You mean the Wilsons don't admit they're homos,"
Eric laughed.

"Yeah. Not an option. Nothing touchy-feely is an option,
unless you're female. Even then, watch out if you're too emotional. We
Wilsons suck it up and take it like men."

Eric nodded slowly. "Nothing wrong with taking it. In
the right circumstances." He turned his piercing gaze on Johnny and Johnny
felt himself flushing, though he wasn't exactly sure what Eric was getting
at.

"Let's move over here to the couch, how 'bout?" Eric
said, as he stood up from his chair. Johnny stood as well and together they
sat down, Eric leaning back, Johnny again perched on the edge of a cushion,
as if he would bolt at a second's notice.

"So tell me about it, Johnny. How did a hot, sexy man
like you get all the way into his twenties without knowing you were gay?"

Johnny looked down into his wine and answered slowly. "I
guess I did know it." Eric stayed quiet and Johnny went on. "I mean, I knew
something was wrong. Something was different. I've never been able to
connect. Yes, that's the word, to connect with women. I can appreciate
their beauty, the beauty of a female form, and I didn't even mind the sex,
per se." He smiled a little, thinking this must sound strange, though maybe
not to Eric. "It was just, I don't know, it didn't thrill me. It didn't
make my heart pound or my blood heat. I had to imagine stuff. You know, try
to get myself hard so I could have sex with them. It was almost like a
chore. I always ended up feeling cheated and feeling like a failure."

He looked imploringly at Eric for acceptance, for
understanding. "It sounds hard," Eric said. "To go through your life like
that, thinking you were broken."

"Broken! Yes! That's exactly the word I've used in my
head. And now to find out maybe I'm not broken. Not fucked up! I was
just looking in the wrong place! Because when I saw you..." he paused and bit
his lip, feeling suddenly shy. "Well, I've seen good-looking guys before,
of course. And I'll even admit they've made me hot, made me hard. But I was
always able to chalk it up to envy. I would say to myself, 'Man, if I only
looked like him, then I'd feel sexy and all the babes would want me and I'd
want them.' But I was fooling myself. I know that now."

"You sure were, Johnny. Because you are so hot I need an
ice bath 'bout now!" Eric laughed, and Johnny laughed too, pleased. He
leaned back, putting his legs out, uncoiling at last.

"Well, thanks. But, Eric, when I saw you, something
clicked inside of me. Like this switch went on and I was suddenly aware. I
know that sounds so weird! To go twenty-four years without even knowing who
I was! Have you ever heard of a such a thing! I never thought of myself as
stupid but, Jesus, how dumb can you get?"

"It's not stupid at all. You'd be amazed how many people
go through their whole lives never connecting with who they really
are. Never exploiting their own potential in so many ways. Really, Johnny,
I wouldn't spend another second beating myself up about this. What's really
exciting, what you should focus on, is the fact that now you've come alive!
You're awake and aware. You're ready to begin your new life."

"That's just what I was thinking earlier! It's like
you're tapped into my head somehow. I like it, but it makes me a little
nervous too." Johnny grinned.

"Oh don't be nervous. If I'm tapped into you, it's only
because you are tapped into me too. There's something between us. We both
felt it from the moment we saw each other. I have to tell you, Johnny. For
me it isn't usually like this. I 'play the field', if you will. I select
the one I want, I go after him and I get him. I use him 'til I tire of him
and then it's over. I know that sounds cold, but you'll find in the gay
scene things are often like that. Men even expect it of one another.

"Which isn't to say there isn't romance and true love
too. Sure there is. But it's not such a focus for most guys. We're more
into the sex, I guess."

Eric smiled and Johnny laughed. "That's no different
from straight men, trust me! We..." he paused, and amended, "I mean, they,
just have to do the lovey-dovey stuff to get the girl! It's the women who
want all the flowers and candy crap."

Eric laughed too. "Well, I don't know. A little romance
is very sexy too, in the right circumstance. I'm just saying I haven't
found the right guy. At least, I hadn't until now."

He said the last words softly, almost tentatively, as if
afraid Johnny might rebuff him. Johnny didn't reply, feeling his mouth
suddenly go dry. Eric held out his hand and Johnny handed him his vodka
glass. Rick set both glasses on the low, black coffee table in front of
them.

Without speaking, they moved closer to one another on
the couch, so their thighs were touching. Slowly Eric reached up and
stroked Johnny's cheek. Johnny felt dizzy and frightened, but also very
aroused. He felt his cock stiffen in his pants and he swallowed, letting
his eyes close as Eric continued to stroke his cheek, his other hand
resting lightly on Johnny's thigh.

"May I kiss you?"