Friends with Benefits

There was a clattering of the receiver and then, “Uh, hello?”

Judging by the grogginess of Jeff’s disembodied phone voice, Meg had woken him, but she didn’t feel bad about that. After all, she figured what she was offering would be worth his losing a little sleep.

“Hi. You wanna come over?” Meg purred in what she thought of as her irresistible, sex kitten voice.

“Why don’t you ever get horny earlier at night?” That sounded distinctly annoyed, which annoyed her even more. What the hell did he need to get to sleep early for? The next day was Saturday. Jeff didn’t have to work. He could sleep late in the morning.

“Who says I’m horny? Maybe I just want some company to watch TV.”

“Meg, I know a booty call when I hear one. It’s after midnight. One civilized person does not call another after twelve unless one, someone is dead or two, they want sex.”

And so what? Since no one was dead, it was obviously the latter. She didn’t see any problem.

Didn’t it just figure that Meg may have possibly found the one and only man in the world who did not single-mindedly think about sex and how to get it twenty-four seven. “Fine. Never mind.”

She heard his deep sigh. “Don’t be like that. I’m not saying no or anything, but can’t you come over here for a change?”

Meg hated losing the home team advantage. It was cold outside. She would have to get dressed. And Jeff, being young, single, and male, lived in a typical bachelor pad. Nothing to eat. No diet soda. Science experiments living under the couch and in the shower. Besides, all her stuff was here at her own nice, comfy place. The list of reasons went on and on…

He noticed her hesitation. “What? My apartment isn’t good enough for you?”

“No, that’s not it.” Not exactly, anyway. “Um. When did you change your sheets last?”

His sarcastic laughter resonated through the phone. “I thought you said you only wanted to watch TV. What does it matter when I changed my sheets?”

A little nookie was not worth this much humiliation. She could service herself with a bit of help from the battery-operated friend she kept in the nightstand. She’d done it before and was quite sure she’d do it again.

“Never mind. Good night. Sorry I woke you,” Meg added even though she wasn’t sorry in the least.

Having known Jeff forever, well, actually, since they were both in eighth grade at Wilmont Middle School, she did not hang up the phone, but instead waited for his predictable resignation-filled sigh. She was not disappointed. “Okay. I’ll be over in fifteen minutes.”

Perfect. Meg smiled. “I’ll see you then.”