Blue Lady (Middlemarch Mates, Book Ten)

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An Excerpt From: BLUE LADY

Copyright © SHELLEY MUNRO, 2010

All Rights Reserved, Ellora's Cave Publishing,
Inc.

Chapter One

Saber Mitchell prowled across the tussock in feline
form, gradually picking up speed until he was galloping at full strength.
His mind seethed with turmoil. Anger. Helplessness. Pain. He felt it all.

The emotions roiled inside him, combining into doubt and
panic. Something had to change between him and Emily before it was too late
and their marriage imploded under the strain. His muscles strained. His
lungs labored as he fought the stiff breeze roaring over the brow of the
hill. Running didn't help. No matter how fast his sprint, he couldn't
outrun his fears.

He was losing Emily.

Anguish swelled inside him and he slowed, realizing he'd
instinctively headed for the spot where he and Emily had made love during
the heady days of their courtship. He'd known what he'd wanted then.
Confidence had filled him as he'd pursued his goals. He'd wanted Emily and
done his best to both seduce and woo her to his way of thinking. Officially
bestowing his mark on Emily and mating with her was the best thing he'd
ever done.

He loved her.

It might seem laughable to some, but Emily really did
complete him. Her presence made him a better man. She pulled him and his
brothers together, making them into a big, happy family, one full of love
and laughter.

Hell, he didn't know what to do, how to make things
better or how to fix the yawning hole between them. Because there was one
thing he knew for sure--he couldn't survive without Emily. They were mates,
meant to live out their lives together.

Saber came to a halt in the shelter of a large pile of
schist, his sides heaving from the exertion. The scent of dried grasses and
the underlying, more pungent aroma of the soil, damp from recent rain and
cattle filled his lungs. He'd come out here to think, but his mind couldn't
get past the fact he was losing Emily and the reality--he'd never felt so
helpless in his entire life.

It didn't help that he hadn't been there for her and
their unborn daughter when they needed him. That's what killed him most of
all. He'd promised to look after Emily and hadn't. He'd failed her.

The ache of failure intensified, hurting his chest.
Despondently, he padded back into the wind, heading for his vehicle. This
time self-sufficiency wasn't going to work. He needed help.

Half an hour later, he walked into Gavin Finley's
surgery, halting just inside the door. Gavin was both doctor to the local
feline shifters and vet for the human part of the Middlemarch community. Kiran, Gavin's assistant, was with him as they worked
on a golden retriever.

"Gavin, I need to make an appointment," Saber said. "Can
you fit me in?"

"Is there a problem?" Gavin watched Kiran
carefully stitch the wound closed.

"No. Yes." His hands curled to fists at his sides while
he struggled to ask for help. He was the one who fixed problems. He didn't
need help. His shoulders slumped forward a fraction.

That was a lie.

He and Emily desperately required help. Saber glanced at
Kiran. He'd tried to feel anger at the young
tiger shifter because it was his presence that had placed Emily directly in
the path of danger. Logically, he knew Kiran was
just as innocent as Emily and their unborn baby. The men
who had stormed their house, searching for Kiran,
were to blame, and his initial anger had dulled. "I need to speak with you
in private--when you have a moment."

"Kiran and I have another
appointment." He glanced at the wall clock. "We should be done by three. Do
you want to meet at Storm in a Teacup for a coffee?"

"No," he barked. That was the last thing he wanted.
Emily was actually working there today, which was a change from the
lethargy and melancholy of the past months. He didn't want Emily to know he
was seeing Gavin. "I...could we meet here?"

"Better make it half past three so I have a chance to
get something to eat. My stomach is gnawing my backbone."

"I'll bring food and coffee," Saber said. Emily would
give him food. They might not talk, they might not socialize with family
and friends in the same way they used to, but they did eat, or pretend to,
in the case of his mate.

* * * * *

"I need to talk to you about Emily." Despite the feeling
of disloyalty, Saber would do anything to make things right. They'd never
be exactly the same as they were before. Saber knew and accepted that. But
he refused to believe the empty bubble they'd inhabited for the last eight
months was all they had in the future. He forced himself to talk, to
stumble through and lay out his--their--personal problems in the hope Gavin
could help. "She's not getting better. We don't talk anymore. We sleep in
the same bed, but that's all. Emily doesn't--won't touch me." A lump built
in Saber's throat, the sting of tears coming on him suddenly. "She locks
herself in the bathroom and cries. She thinks I don't know. It's like she's
retreated to her own world where nothing else exists. I...I don't know how to
fix things." Saber squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating fiercely on
maintaining his equilibrium when all he wanted to do was howl with the
pain.

"You have to give it time." Gavin reached for his hand,
making Saber flinch. Instinctively, he tried to pull away, but Gavin held
fast, refusing to let him withdraw. "The loss of a baby due to miscarriage
is exactly like mourning the loss of a loved one. You both bonded with your
baby and pictured what she'd look like. You considered names and set up a
nursery. God, Saber. Something like this doesn't go away overnight. Emily
needs to grieve and go through all the stages, the initial grief, the
anger, the depression and acceptance before she can come out the other
side. You both do."

"But how much time?" Saber inhaled and blew out the
breath slowly in an effort to release the tension residing in every muscle
of his body. He'd known this would be difficult. Just talking about their
baby girl felt like someone had taken a knife to his gut. "I...we can't keep
on like this without our marriage breaking. I can't lose Emily. I can't,"
Saber finished fiercely. They'd lost enough already.

Gavin frowned, reaching for a pen. Saber watched him tap
it on the desk and hoped he'd stop soon, his eyes narrowing as his mind
started screaming at him. Everything annoyed him these days and his
uncertain temper proved it. His youngest brothers Sly and Joe were keeping
far away.

"Have you thought about a change of scenery? Sometimes
that helps."